Well, I've been trying to keep my uploads steady, but I definitely haven't had much time to sit and write these days - well, I'm just a bit exhausted by the time I get home - but, here I am.

I've been tinkering with a few things - designing my own website, working on furniture, and tinkering with a business plan - which brings me to a question: what's the goal for most artists?

I would think the easy answer would be "to be able to make a living from doing what you love - which is art!" Turns out even mellow artists can be a crude batch of pretentious assholes when you assume they just to paint and draw for the rest of their lives at a balanced price of maintaining themselves. As I was explained, the true 'artist lifestyle' means scraping by to make enough to food and art supplies so that each painting/piece you produce has that much more grit and depth to it.

I say bullshit.

Not that I disagree with that view - I mean it does have an rather romantic ring to it if you're the type of artist that really pours themselves into your works - but for those of us not in the 3% of the artsy community that harbor a mental illness and have no choice but to be artsy because you're socially inept and incapable of doing anything else, what then?

I'll be open. I'm practically a yuppie. Or at least I'll be a full-fledged one within the next 5-8 years or so. I'm a 'suit' by day and lowbrow-punker by night, but these days that's more in my head than in reality. I'm getting tired of the fight, and conformity seems to have seeped into my life at some point and pretty much taken over. It happens. Not that I don't kick back here and there, but for the most part, I suck.

But my dream would be to drop the suit, draw full time, and live my life. Well, if this wonderful global economic crisis we're all going through has taught us anything it's that we won't always have the luxury of bullshitting ourselves and doing what we want with our lives.

The point is - i consider myself a sellout. But I don't think my art has sold out. Yet, if I turn my art into a business, why is that seen as selling out by other artist???? Just because I don't want to bus tables and mop floors for the sake of having blue hair and tattoos up my eyeballs? Fk them. When an artist goes from local to global, they say he's 'innovative' or that he 'took the art world by storm'. If a comic book artist gets picked up by a big company like Marvel, they don't call him a sellout, they call him 'elite'.

I guess I'm seeing more critics among artists than I am in the art scene as a whole - everyone's after the same thing: leaving your mark. So why is the guy that does it by living off the 'mark' any less of an artist than the guy who goes through life sucking d*cks for heroine so they can get inspired for their next piece?